How can you tell if you are
a real Ham
1. When you look
at a full moon and wonder how much antenna gain you would need.
2. When a friend gets a ride from you and remarks that you have
a lot of CBs in your vehicle, it turns in to an hour long rant
on how ham radio is not CB radio.
3. When someone asks for directions, you pause, wondering if
long or short path would be best.
4. When you can look at a globe and be able to point to your
antipode (and you know what an antipode is).
5. Your cell phone ring tone is a Morse code message of some
kind.
6. You have
accidentally said your Amateur Radio call sign at the end of a
telephone conversation.
7. Your favorite vacation spots are always on mountain tops.
8. You notice more antennas than road signs while driving your
car.
9. You have driven onto the shoulder of the road while looking
at an antenna.
10. Porcupines appear to be fascinated with your car.
11. If you ever
tried to figure out the operating frequency of your microwave
oven.
12. When you look around your bedroom of wall to wall ham gear
and ask: Why am I still single?
13. The local city council doesn't like you.
14. You think towers look pretty.
15. Your family doesn't have a clue what to get you for
Christmas, even after you tell them.
16. Your HF
amplifier puts out more power than the local AM radio station.
17. The wife and kids are away and the first thing that goes
through your head is that no one will bother you while you call
"CQ DX" a few hundred times.
18. When you pull into a donut shop and the cops there on their
coffee break ask if they can see your radio setup.
19. You refer to your children as your "Harmonics".
20. Your girlfriend or wife asks: "You're going to spend XXXX
on what?
21. You actually
believe you got a goo d deal on eBay.
22. When you see a house with a metal roof, and your only
thought is what a great ground plane that would be.
23. You have pictures of your radio equipment as wallpaper on
your computer's desktop.
24. Every family vacation includes a stop at a Ham radio store.
25. The first question you ask the new car dealer is: "What is
the alternator's current output"?
26. You buy a
brand new car based on the radio mounting locations and antenna
mounting possibilities.
27. You have tapped out Morse code on your car's horn.
28. A lightning storm takes out a new Laptop, Plasma TV, and DVD
Recorder, but all you care about is if your radios are okay.
29. Your wife has had to ride in the back seat because you had
radio equipment in the front seat.
30. Your wife was excited when you were talking about achieving
that critical angle, but very disappointed when you finally did.
31. During a love
making session with your wife, you stop to answer a call on the
radio.
32. Your wife threatens you with divorce when you tell her that
you are going on a "fox" hunt.
33. Talking about male and female connectors makes you feel
excited.
34. You dream of big, comfortable, knobs, but not on women.
35. You always park on the top floor of the deck, just in case
you might have to wait in the car later.
36. When house
hunting, you look for the best room for a radio shack and scan
the property for possible tower placement.
37. When house hunting, you give your realtor topographical maps
showing local elevations.
38. The real estate agent scratches his head when you ask if the
soil conductivity is high, medium, or low.
39. You have Ham radio magazines in the bathroom.
40. When your doorbell rings, you immediately shut down the
amplifier.
41. Fermentation
never enters your mind when "homebrew" is mentioned.
42. Instead of just saying no, you have said "negative".
43. You have used a person's name to indicate acknowledgement.
44. You become impatient waiting for the latest AES catalog to
arrive.
45. You have found yourself whistling "CQ" using Morse code.
46. You always
schedule the third weekend in May for vacation.
47. You walk carefully in your back yard to avoid being close
lined.
48. You have deep anxiety or panic attacks during high winds or
heavy ice.
49. You and the FedEx/UPS men are on a first name basis.
50. You really start to miss people that you've never seen.
51. Your exercise
machine is a Morse code keyer.
52. You walk through the plumbing section at the hardware store
and see antenna parts.
53. Your neighbors thought you were nuts when you ripped up your
lawn to bury chicken wire.
54. Your next door neighbor thinks that your wife is a widow.
55. Your wife has delivered meals to your Ham shack.
56. If you sold all your Ham radio equipment, you could pay off
your mortgage. |